The Bouncy Ball Theory

 I’ve been giving a lot of thought to human interaction lately. The simple contact we make with other people, either in passing or long term. How I met most of my friends through school or jobs, or in adoption support group. How much impact they have on my life. But also, how much impact a few seconds with another human can change your life.

I know people who make me constantly strive to be the best version of myself. I've met people in passing who have blown my mind and changed the way I feel about or how I do something.

When I was a kid- maybe beginning around age 11- I had this idea about how people and their interactions are like letting a ton on bouncy balls (you know, the ones from the grocery store coin machines) loose with great force in a giant room- except the room is earth or universe sized and the balls are billions of souls. The balls are like people bouncing off one another, sometimes lightly, sometimes hard enough to send a ball across the room, bouncing into another ball. Sometimes that same ball bounces again and again and again indefinitely off of many other balls. Sometimes the bouncy balls hit each other and come to rest together in their own little place. 

I’m wondering when we will "bounce" into our future baby’s first mom. Wondering if it is as random as it all seems or are our bouncy balls on some sort of predetermined path. It looks like chaos, like it’s all up to chance. I think as humans we always look for a reason for things that happen, especially the less favorable things like dead silence in an adoption wait, while others around you adopt. In a process that seems to have no rhyme or reason, I search. 

I’m so guilty of just saying “everything that happens is meant to be”. It’s something I’ve had to believe to make sense of a life with challenge after challenge. Maybe everything does happen for a reason or maybe it’s all random. Perhaps it really is all arbitrary events that lead souls together. 

At this very moment, events, decisions, actions are taking place that will lead a woman to us - who will choose us to raise her child. Events, decisions and actions that took and are taking place alongside each event, decision, and action that John and I have made and are still making. We are all spinning through this life, in a collision course with each other. 

What completely seemingly random or absolutely meant to be life events will lead us to our baby? How absolutely fascinating a thought!

From A Future Aunt - Guest Post

John and Katie as children

This is a guest post from Katie, John's sister and my wonderful sister-in-law. Katie is going to be one awesome aunt!

I'm Katie. John’s little sister. He and I grew up in the town where I still live. I'm a kindergarten teacher and I also babysit. I love kids and I know John does too! Our next-door neighbor when we were in high school was the cutest 3 year-old little boy. He loved John and was sad when John went to “big school” aka college. He was always asking when John was coming back from “big school.”

John met Sarah in college. She's probably the best thing that ever happened to him! They are a great couple and I wish we lived closer, so that we could spend more time together. They have three awesome cats named Spike, Moe, and Waffles! John and I had lots of cats growing up. Their cats are like family (as is my cat, Houdini). :)

I've known that they've been wanting a family for a very long time. We've talked about it many times. I noticed a big change in them when their nephew was born to Sarah’s brother and his wife. The way they interact with him makes me smile! I love hearing stories about him and the fun that they have together. I love getting pictures of him and seeing him at Christmas and the Kidney Walk! It warms my heart to see him interact with John. They are big buddies. Sarah tells me hilarious stories about what fun things their nephew does. I know John and Sarah will make awesome parents!! Their strength through this process amazes me. I can't wait for them to complete their family!

I can't wait for  John and Sarah to be able to experience all of these things with their own child. Not to mention that I can't wait to be an Aunt! I will be very involved in their child's life. I can't wait to go shopping for all of the fun Aunt stuff! I've already found these great onesies on Pinterest. 

From A Mother Through Open Adoption - Guest Post

This is a guest post written by Lisa, a mother through open adoption and the photographer extraordinaire behind her blog The Thompson Baby . Lisa and I connected through an online support group for families who are adopting or have already adopted through our agency, The Independent Adoption Center. 

Sarah is not someone I know in real life...but that hasn't stopped us from growing supportive of each other and creating a friendship with adoption and dorky emoticon sharing at its core.

One thing that strikes me about Sarah and her destiny to become a mother through open adoption is her commitment to be open to situations that come along until they play out, and her deep care and concern for women looking to make a plan for their child.

 I am also impressed by how much in such a short time she has opened up to get the word out to friends and family about their desire to adopt. This at times has put her out of her comfort zone and challenged her personally but I feel this has created steps to be ready for "THE" contact. 

Navigating an open adoption relationship and parenting, from personal experience, is very rewarding, but can at times help us get outside of ourselves more, reach out for help from those we trust, and help us find ways to help people understand why we do what we do. Sarah may keep it close, but her heart and mind are all in on this and creating a relationship with a woman searching for the right home for her child. 

Sarah and John have taken steps to make their lives easier once the right situation presents itself, as John just started managing at a store just minutes from their home. They love to spend time with and talk about their handsome nephew. This child will learn from his mama a passion for music, attention to health and a genuine kind spirit with plenty of raw humor on the side. 

I am hoping that Sarah, John and the woman expecting and needing to make a plan will soon find each other. It is an amazing thought to think of them looking for each other, maybe even right this moment.

Full Throttle

Do you ever just have that burning pit in your chest that nags and nags at you? No, not heartburn, but the deep painful feeling that you get when you have no control over something? That hardcore desire to be moving forward, when you are standing still?

Ever since our failed attempt to adopt last month, my chest has been hurting. Literally hurting. It's no one's fault. Things are what things are. We've had to have so many serious conversations over the last month. Everything from asking ourselves if we need a break, to looking at our budget to try new things- go full on with this. The decision? I think a break would be a set back. We want this more than anything we have ever wanted. We are going full throttle with this adoption.

Past fears have kept us from using more profile sites or making videos, and asking more people for help getting the word out. There is fear that we will lose hard earned money, fear that our friends and family will think that we are asking too much, and fear that putting ourselves out there more will only bring in more people trying to scam us. The thing is, we can't live in fear any longer.

The Plan

We have a video in the works! I'm going to put my two semesters of grad school experience to the test by making an adoption video. It's another way for people considering adoption to see who we are when we aren't just motionless images and typed words.

We are on Adoptimist again! See our profile here: https://www.adoptimist.com/adoption-parent-profile/7849

We are going to open this blog up to guest posts from friends and family (and possibly even strangers)! If you are a friend or family member or associated with adoption in some way and want to write a bit about us, adoption, yourself, whatever- as long as it is related in some way, email us a submission at sarahandjohnadopt@gmail.com .

We are going to keep passing out our pass along cards! If you want some, contact us through one of the 4 million ways to contact us on this blog! I gave one to my barista this morning at the coffee shop. Nothing but smiles and encouragement from her! It never hurts to network.

The Scoop

Our home study renewal home visit is the 20th! Phew, such relief.

We are going on vacation! A couple of days in Washington DC and then to see one of our very best friends in Philadelphia. We have missed her intensely since her and her family moved away from Atlanta! It's been over a while since we saw them and her son is already 4! FOUR! Cannot believe it. I remember seeing him when he was just hours old!

The Thanks

You know, my mind is constantly blown at the amount of support we get in this process. So, thanks for reading, commenting (love comments!), emailing, sympathizing, sometimes even just cussing along with us at the hard stuff. We love you guys.

Gratitude

First on the agenda, I am doing #100daysofgratitude over on our adoption Instagram account https://instagram.com/johnandsarahadopt/ . I'm really trying to embrace all of the wonderful things we have, rather than what we don't have. Follow along for those elusive rainbows I always speak of.

Secondly, the kidney walk was a moderate success! I say moderate only because Team Walking Beans didn't raise nearly as much as we usually do for the National Kidney Foundation. I think we raised somewhere around $525 when all was said and done. We usually raise at least twice that. I guess every cent helps to raise awareness and provide assistance to kidney patients. All in all though, a good walk! We went to the Atlanta Food Truck Park after with the whole team. Crepes, King of Pops (if you are in Atlanta and haven't had KOP, you must RUN, not walk to the closest KOP stand!) and family fun!

Team Walking Beans- Minus me and my brother's family

Our nephew has been doing the kidney walk every year since he was about 6 months old! Teach them early to be caring and giving!

We are best friends forever!

So adoption news... that is what everyone is here for right? Well, I do believe we have completed ALL of our home study renewal documents! Phew! It's like climbing a mountain. Now we will have to have someone come out to the house and do a home visit. We are getting used to these things and are actually looking forward to having our adoption counselor out to the house. We couldn't ask for a better person to work with!

In other adoption news, we are still waiting! I know, shocking. Oh boy, this wait is killer. Seeing your friends adopt before you and seeing everyone posting pregnancy announcements on Facebook (or whatever your social media guilty pleasure may be) can feel so personal. It's totally not, but it sure feels that way sometimes. It is a really weird to place to be in mentally- to be happy for someone while feeling really just sad for yourself. Some days I see an announcement and I'm all "ooooh babies!" and other times it sends me straight back to bed for the day. That is how up and down this process is.

On to happier things. Oh wait, I was going to bring up Game of Thrones...not so happy right now! Or ever! Amiright?! Did anyone watch Sunday night? I think Waffles sums up what I looked like whilst watching:

Ok, enough of the ramblings. We are trying to be ever hopeful. We are trying to carry on as if we could be parents any day now, all while knowing we might not be!. The struggle is so real you guys, but it's not like John and I haven't overcome struggles in our lives. We will get through it!

And now music, because it's my blog and I can do what I want! This song is beautiful! If you haven't see this movie, it is a must see. Best.soundtrack.ever. A favorite in our house.