Christmas 2015: Part Two- Funsies

I'm ready for part two of my Christmas post. The last post was about feelings. Boo feelings! If you happen to like feelings though, here is a link : Christmas 2015 Part One .

This is not a feelings post. This is a what we have been up to and what we will soon be doing post.

As per my recent hiatus ending post noted, I saw Frank Turner again. Oh yes, I did indeed. Pictures below. I'm off of work this week, so there has been plenty of laziness and general hanging out.

John has been curling, and watching Everton play soccer, and working hard as usual.

The house is superbly decorated. Presents are wrapped and ready to be torn into (or bags peeped into, because wrapping got tedious, so I turned to the good ole gift bag.

Christmas cards are hung in our entry way. What I really love about our Christmas cards is that so many of them are pictures of families created through open adoption!

It is lifting my soul up to receive these cards from friends we have made during the adoption wait. Watch out, when we have our kid, our Christmas card photos are going to be epic.

Let's not forget the cards featuring friends and their pets! More fur please!

Our annual tin of Christmas cookies arrived from our friend Katie and her family. You may remember her from such blog posts as Vacation Recap: Philadelphia . 

Katie's cookies mean the start of Christmas. She may be thinking "Great, now I can never stop sending them!" No Katie, you cannot. Kidding, sort of. 

I particularly loved the card, which included a drawing by Xander, Katie and Anthony's 4 year old son. I believe he now fancies himself an artist and author of stick figure and worm family books.

We saw Star Wars on opening day. This is the only picture I took, because, well, I was sending it to another friend we met through our adoption agency who was also seeing it that night.

This is the freezing cold line to get in. Yeah, sure it was cold that night, but it won't be for Christmas! It's supposed to be 77 here on Christmas day. It's currently pouring rain here, with a risk of tornadoes tonight. It's not exactly holiday spirit inducing weather.






I know you are all waiting for my Frank Turner trip update!

So, here it is. My friend Jessica went with me to Nashville to see Frank. She had seen him open for (I think) Ben Folds years ago. She was the first person I have met who actually knew who Frank Turner is, so ya know, I kept her. That sounds creepy (she's in the basement..shhhh). Kidding. No, she's actually getting ready to fly to Italy. Whatevs. I'll just hang here in the 'burbs.

Anyway, we went to an instore performance at Grimey's in Nashville and like .. um.. met him and got his autograph and stuff... Yeah, I know, I have met him before. Trust me, it doesn't get old. He liked my shirt (*blush*). I may  have prematurely put my arm around him for our picture. Man, I can be awkward.

What's that? An autographed record? Mine! All mine!

Also, he said I my way of spelling Sarah is the best way and I was all like, yeah, totally, mumble mumble squirm. Because I am super smooth when talking to my music idols.

So, let me not leave out the part where a friend I made in the Frank Turner Army (it's a thing, ok?) Marisa is her name, got us wrist bands to make this possible. It was a know a girl who knows a guy type of deal. I am so thankful to Marisa and her friend!

Then we went to the actual show. It was at 3rd and Lindsley, which was a really awesome venue. We squeezed our way to the front and I sang/screamed/yelled/jumped/danced/sweated my face off.

I no longer have a face. 

I think Jessica is hooked now. It's contagious, that Frank Turner bug.

Ok, I'm stopping with the Frank Turner fan review. Let's talk about my onesie addiction. My name is Sarah and I have a onesie addiction.

If I see a cool, cute, or funny onesie, it will belong to my yet to exist baby. Maybe it's a coping mechanism, maybe I just like to be prepared!

If you hear of a good onesie sale, you know where to find me. Merry Christmas future baby, you are already well dressed.




Well, that's my picture collection for this entry. If you follow us on Instagram: Our Account, you probably have seen most of these already. If you don't - Surprise! Pictures!

It is the Eve of Christmas Eve and I am home alone. John is working, making sure all of you have your ingredients for Christmas dinner. Tomorrow night we will have lasagna and monkey bread and celebrate our Christmas together.

Christmas day we will brunch at my parent's house and marvel at how funny our nephew, Henry, is. How big and smart and wonderful he is. Then we will drive to see John's mom and sister and eat some more, as people do on Christmas. We will chat on the drive up and back about how maybe... just maybe next year there will be three of us. Then hesitate, because maybe not. We don't know.

Tonight though, I am writing for you and for myself. For our future child to know how much we loved him or her before we ever set eyes on our perfect baby.

For now I will watch Love Actually eight times and Bridget Jones' Diary three, maybe four times, because there is no such thing as too much young Collin Firth or too much living abroad in your imagination. I'll wait eagerly for John to get home tonight. To torture him with said chick flicks and spend what is left of this holiday, just the two of us.

The lightning outside seems too close for computer comfort, so I'm signing off. From our hopelessly hopeful family of two to your family, Happy Holidays!

Gratitude

First on the agenda, I am doing #100daysofgratitude over on our adoption Instagram account https://instagram.com/johnandsarahadopt/ . I'm really trying to embrace all of the wonderful things we have, rather than what we don't have. Follow along for those elusive rainbows I always speak of.

Secondly, the kidney walk was a moderate success! I say moderate only because Team Walking Beans didn't raise nearly as much as we usually do for the National Kidney Foundation. I think we raised somewhere around $525 when all was said and done. We usually raise at least twice that. I guess every cent helps to raise awareness and provide assistance to kidney patients. All in all though, a good walk! We went to the Atlanta Food Truck Park after with the whole team. Crepes, King of Pops (if you are in Atlanta and haven't had KOP, you must RUN, not walk to the closest KOP stand!) and family fun!

Team Walking Beans- Minus me and my brother's family

Our nephew has been doing the kidney walk every year since he was about 6 months old! Teach them early to be caring and giving!

We are best friends forever!

So adoption news... that is what everyone is here for right? Well, I do believe we have completed ALL of our home study renewal documents! Phew! It's like climbing a mountain. Now we will have to have someone come out to the house and do a home visit. We are getting used to these things and are actually looking forward to having our adoption counselor out to the house. We couldn't ask for a better person to work with!

In other adoption news, we are still waiting! I know, shocking. Oh boy, this wait is killer. Seeing your friends adopt before you and seeing everyone posting pregnancy announcements on Facebook (or whatever your social media guilty pleasure may be) can feel so personal. It's totally not, but it sure feels that way sometimes. It is a really weird to place to be in mentally- to be happy for someone while feeling really just sad for yourself. Some days I see an announcement and I'm all "ooooh babies!" and other times it sends me straight back to bed for the day. That is how up and down this process is.

On to happier things. Oh wait, I was going to bring up Game of Thrones...not so happy right now! Or ever! Amiright?! Did anyone watch Sunday night? I think Waffles sums up what I looked like whilst watching:

Ok, enough of the ramblings. We are trying to be ever hopeful. We are trying to carry on as if we could be parents any day now, all while knowing we might not be!. The struggle is so real you guys, but it's not like John and I haven't overcome struggles in our lives. We will get through it!

And now music, because it's my blog and I can do what I want! This song is beautiful! If you haven't see this movie, it is a must see. Best.soundtrack.ever. A favorite in our house.

Gmork, Naps, and Curling

Subtitle: There is no rhyme or reason to this post. 

We are about 2 days short of 16 months waiting "live" with the Independent Adoption Center . Sometimes it feels like the never ending story (Well, typing that just led to a 10 minute youtubin' bonanza of Falcor videos! You can ride Falcor in Munich! ) I know what doesn't drive us absolutely insane only makes us stronger! That's the saying right? No? Well, we always have that pretty unimpressive looking Falcor "ride".

Did anyone else grow up thinking the Gmork lived in their fireplace? That is my childhood trauma. That and Return to Oz. Chills.

So sidetracked.

I feel like we are in an adoption wait "happy place". This can change day to day, moment to moment, but overall- I think we are dealing quite well. Those thoughts of "why not us yet?" or "why must we be stuck in this land of limbo?!" pop into my head and pop right back out these days. There is no real answer, so I am just going with the flow. I avoid message boards and support group Facebook pages these days, because I feel reading about things gone wrong only make a negative impact on how I handle this process. Believe me, I am aware of what all can happen, so it's not like I am turning a blind eye, just protecting myself a little.

We are keeping busy as usual. We went to the Pajama Curl bonspiel in Charlotte, NC over the past weekend. I was reminded that me going to anything that resembles a 72 hour party is a bit of a joke. I needed naps... multiple. I found that retreating to the hotel to watch a marathon of Law and Order SVU, was replenishing enough to make it through some of night two! John has a much higher energy level than I do and just kept going and going.

Since the theme was Pajama Curl, we saw more adult onesie pajamas in one place than anyone wants or needs to see in life. Grown men in onesies.... hmmm. Still unsure of that one.

I have pictures!  Iphone quality, but pictures none the less.

That is John. Batman.

Some pj's were exceptionally awesome.

No, really. It was a real TMNT!

All of the teams that the Atlanta Curling Club sent. So many onesies. 

Over all we had a good time. Good friends, good food- seriously, they fed us a TON of food. Charlotte still has Qdoba! Delish.

Coming up for adoption wait distraction we have Valentine's Day, John's sister's birthday (which is on Valentine's day! Kinda cool!), and my birthday is in March - the big 3-5! I keep telling people I will be 36, I have no idea why. Brainz not working. I am thinking maybe an evening out with friends... friends, you in? How does one party 35 year old style? Does it involve naps? I love naps. Another year, another nap. Better get to napping before baby comes! 

Well, this turned into a nap themed post. Guess we all know how I am feeling today. Luckily, I have a hot coffee and a nice slow day at working coming up. 

We are hopeful that this is our year. We are hopeful that someone who wants to place her baby with loving adoptive parents reads our blog and thinks we are pretty cool rather than the huge nerds we actually are (nerdy is in right? Oh good!). We are hopeful that you all will share our blog, our official profile , our open adoption Facebook page and our open adoption Instagram , where we are participating in the #hopingtoadopt60days get to know us challenge.

I leave you with our very own little luck dragon, Moe. #sunspotsforlife

Is This Thing On?

Because I have words just bubbling out!

This post is about the long and the short of it all. If you have read my posts in the past, you know this will probably be more the long of it though... yap yap yap. 

The short: 

John and I are just two people who love each other, who also want nothing more than to have children. I am the one who cannot conceive and carry a child. John is the one who stands by me, because he loves me more than he wants to have a biological child. We are people who do not need that biological connection to love a child.We are just people who want to love a child.

Just us. Being us.

The long:

We are not perfect people, but we are good people. We have shortcomings and we have things we excel at. We are very open minded and easily adaptable to new situations. We have already been through a lot together (over 13 years since we first started dating!). I can't think of much we haven't already conquered or can't overcome in the future. We are happy being to the two of us, but ultimately that isn't what we want.

One thing I keep hearing come up is how peachy, shiny, happy our adoption profile makes everything look. It outlines the best of us, without stating the flaws in our lives. Let's first talk about how much writing and rewriting we had to do with that profile. When it comes down to it, the content was up to us, BUT with some very strong suggestions from the adoption professionals. You have to think of it like this... You wouldn't go on a first date and lay out all of your negatives first thing and this is in the same ball game as that idea. So, sure we want our first impression to be a nice one. We tried to be real, while pointing out some of the positive things about our community, home, and ourselves. Not only that, many aspects of our lives are actually quite shiny. We have a roof over our heads, we have each other, we have jobs and food to eat... that is pretty darn happy and shiny.

You want to know our flaws? Ok!

Well, let's see. I am a person who likes instant gratification. When I want something, I want it right then and get grumpy if I don't get it. This is why we end up eating out too much. I have a tendency to get hangry (hungry-angry) when I wait too long to eat and lose my ability to plan a meal and cook. I shop my emotions away. I can do some serious damage at Target if I'm having a rough day. I eat my emotions too. I celebrate with food and grieve with food. I mean, who doesn't? Food is uh, wonderful. Nothing cheers me up like a night out with the ladies to get Mexican food or an iced coffee.

A huge flaw I have is that I question myself when I shouldn't. I think that is partially due to being so public with our lives now that we are adopting. Do I post this or that? Do I look too tired/too shabby, too young/too old in this or that photo? Is our house too messy in these pictures? Or does it show that we are normal people who have clutter? Do I post about cats too much? (The answer to that is probably yes, especially if you follow us on instagram!).

I say things that are probably too young for me or too "hip" for me (like how I squeezed in hip to emphasize how uncool I probably am? Is self deprecating humor still a go?) . I say things like totes instead of totally, froyo instead of frozen yogurt, fav for favorite etc. It all starts mockingly and then suddenly, it is a part of your everyday lingo. It's a slippery slope to being jelly instead of jealous or cray cray instead of crazy. No! I wont do it! Leavin' it for the people born well after me!  For reals.

Everyone has flaws though, even my better half John. John is a remote control hog- will literally take it out of your hand and change the channel. He likes to control minor things like dessert before dinner (not ok with him, but I say we are adults - if we want dessert before dinner, so be it!). John is too stoic sometimes. It makes him hard to read and can make you feel like you might be alone in one battle or another. I learned you just have to ask and he will let you know what he is feeling, but you can't sit by and assume he will offer it up. John is a bit of a music snob. I think he will admit to this. John will remember a bunch of random music facts and sports history, but wont remember the milk from the grocery store.Luckily, he works at a grocery store, so there is always tomorrow!

The fact remains that people are made up of positives and negatives. We all learn to live with and even love the things that make us unique, even if some of it can get annoying. It is part of having compromise in life and part of loving someone entirely. It is part of what makes a family work.

It is 2015 and the time is now to get this show on the road. Some days are met with a lot of patience and understanding that the world has a way of playing things out the way they are meant to be. Other days are met with aggravation and that feeling of just being over the limbo that has been the last few years of our lives. I am learning a new level of patience and understanding about how life actually plays out. How you generally don't get what you want, when you want it. I don't have to like it, but I have to accept it.

So now you know. Other than just being too honest on this blog sometimes, we have flaws. Plenty. But we will be really incredible parents. I think that is what matters in the long run.

Follow us on Instagram, as we are doing a #hopingtoadopt60days challenge. It is a "get to know us" thing where we have a photo assignment daily that will tell a little about our lives.

We are ever flippin' hopeful that our baby will find us this year. That's right, flippin' hopeful.