Newborn Parenting Class: Meet Pancake

 Baby Pancake Cuddles

A couple of weeks ago, we attended a class called Baby Essentials. This class is offered at Northside Hospital in Atlanta for expectant parents, but this one was special. It was only for waiting adoptive families from our agency, The Independent Adoption Center.

Our baby for the day (pictured above) was a good sport. I named him Pancake. I felt it went well with Waffles (one of our cats). I promise I wont insist the real baby be named after breakfast foods! Pancake was a newborn, but could somehow already sit up on his own. Our kid for the day was super advanced and smart obviously. 

The instructor was an adoptive mom, though she did not do domestic newborn adoption. She adopted her daughter internationally. Despite the difference in our adoption paths, she did seem to understand many of the feelings that come along with the adoption wait and due to working in labor and delivery was familiar with adoptions that take place at birth.

The class covered the things babies do that might make you panic, but are totally normal. Like black poo-y stuff called meconium. Apparently, black tarry stuff in the diaper is A-OK for a newborn. Noted. Actually, we talked about many colors of infant poo. Riveting.

We went over a lot of things we are already familiar with like how to hold a baby, how to change a diaper, and how baby should sleep ( flat on it's back, nothing else in the crib!). Gone are the days that our parents put us on our tummies to sleep!

The class was about three hours. We of course were the longest waiting family there. It's pretty rough on the ole' self-esteem. My big goal this year is to hold my head high and just know that our baby is coming, it just hasn't been our time yet. Like I said, goal. You work toward goals, right?

There were people in the class who were just finishing their initial home study. I kind of felt like everyone looked at us worried when we said how long we've been waiting, but I'm hoping that was just in my head. The reality is though, that many of them will likely wait years. Anyway, enough about "boo hoo, we are still waiting".

The instructor suggested that we all get a car seat and take it to an authorized car seat inspector before baby comes. We haven't purchased one yet and honestly I'm glad we haven't. If we had purchased one when we started, I would be worried about if it was going expire before we finally adopt. I still am not comfortable buying one without at least a call saying it could be time. We have Target gift cards from our parents in case we have to fly somewhere and then buy stuff like that. Even if there isn't a Target, there is likely to be a Walmart or something. Heck, I have Amazon Prime, we can have whatever we need delivered to the hotel if need be.

I felt like that was the one piece of advice from the class I wouldn't necessarily follow. The rest of class was mostly safety stuff. I got pretty attached to little Pancake Cuddles Farrar. It was rough giving him back at the end of class. I'm sure he is on to other expectant parents with better doll naming skills.

All in all I thought the class was wonderful. We saw some adoption friends we've made over the last year or so and scoped out the new competition. Not that it's a competition... sort of. I mean, I hate to think of it that way, but some people are seeing our profile along with brand new people's profiles! Ugh. Oops, I'm doing it again. Long waiters. Once you are one, it kind of sticks in the forefront of your brain.

In other news, it is kidney walk time again! For anyone who is joining Sarah and John Adopt late, I am a two time kidney transplant recipient and unstoppable life force. My kidney walk team, Team Walking Beans, walks every year. The walk raises money for the National Kidney Foundation which provides education and resources for people with kidney disease and for the community at large.

If any locals want to join us, it is June 4th at Turner Field. My personal kidney walk page is located HERE! 

That's about all I have for today. I'm trying to take a new blog approach. If I only have negative stuff going on, stay off the blog! Life updates, adoption updates, fine. Whining, no. A mix of both, maybe.

Gratitude

First on the agenda, I am doing #100daysofgratitude over on our adoption Instagram account https://instagram.com/johnandsarahadopt/ . I'm really trying to embrace all of the wonderful things we have, rather than what we don't have. Follow along for those elusive rainbows I always speak of.

Secondly, the kidney walk was a moderate success! I say moderate only because Team Walking Beans didn't raise nearly as much as we usually do for the National Kidney Foundation. I think we raised somewhere around $525 when all was said and done. We usually raise at least twice that. I guess every cent helps to raise awareness and provide assistance to kidney patients. All in all though, a good walk! We went to the Atlanta Food Truck Park after with the whole team. Crepes, King of Pops (if you are in Atlanta and haven't had KOP, you must RUN, not walk to the closest KOP stand!) and family fun!

Team Walking Beans- Minus me and my brother's family

Our nephew has been doing the kidney walk every year since he was about 6 months old! Teach them early to be caring and giving!

We are best friends forever!

So adoption news... that is what everyone is here for right? Well, I do believe we have completed ALL of our home study renewal documents! Phew! It's like climbing a mountain. Now we will have to have someone come out to the house and do a home visit. We are getting used to these things and are actually looking forward to having our adoption counselor out to the house. We couldn't ask for a better person to work with!

In other adoption news, we are still waiting! I know, shocking. Oh boy, this wait is killer. Seeing your friends adopt before you and seeing everyone posting pregnancy announcements on Facebook (or whatever your social media guilty pleasure may be) can feel so personal. It's totally not, but it sure feels that way sometimes. It is a really weird to place to be in mentally- to be happy for someone while feeling really just sad for yourself. Some days I see an announcement and I'm all "ooooh babies!" and other times it sends me straight back to bed for the day. That is how up and down this process is.

On to happier things. Oh wait, I was going to bring up Game of Thrones...not so happy right now! Or ever! Amiright?! Did anyone watch Sunday night? I think Waffles sums up what I looked like whilst watching:

Ok, enough of the ramblings. We are trying to be ever hopeful. We are trying to carry on as if we could be parents any day now, all while knowing we might not be!. The struggle is so real you guys, but it's not like John and I haven't overcome struggles in our lives. We will get through it!

And now music, because it's my blog and I can do what I want! This song is beautiful! If you haven't see this movie, it is a must see. Best.soundtrack.ever. A favorite in our house.

What? I Can't Hear You!

I admittedly have had a really hard time coming up with meaningful posts lately- or any posts at all actually. This post will be neutral... I think...I just feel we need an update here. Something to keep this thing going. Writing through the struggle!

Here is a tale of an ear drum exploding. My ear drum. It all goes back to renewing our home study. You see, back in February I decided that my internal medicine doctor was not a good fit for me and may or may not have stormed out yelling or crying or a combination of both. That's what happens when a doctor thinks she knows me more than I know myself. Long story.

This means I had no regular doctor to do my physical for my home study. I called probably 20 doctors of all varieties with a bunch of "no's" unless you are already a patient there. Finally, thanks to a friend in the adoption wait, I found an urgent care facility who would do it. An urgent care facility where I would pick up one.nasty.bug.

About 6 hours after leaving the appointment I had a fever, chills, aches, extreme fatigue and a sore throat. Three days later all of those issues subsided and my ears started hurting. Within about 8 hours of ear pain, my left ear drum ruptured. Might I say it exploded? Yeah, it did. It was awful and gross and intensely painful. Nearly 3 weeks later it no longer sounds like a hurricane in there, but my hearing is still a little off.

It's like being in a fog. A silent, but not totally silent, more like wind tunnel sounding fog. Too tired to write or keep up with renewing home study documents. I finally found my way out of the fog though.

You guys... I had to go to a Frank Turner show with a bum ear! A Frank Turner show! With a bum ear! Anyone shocked that I still had the time of my life? I so did. Two hours of Frank Turner and the Sleeping Souls in the middle of the night? Count me in!

Anyway. I got thrown off for nearly 3 weeks. Illness, bum ear drum, allergies from hell. But hopefully I'm back up and writing. Darn the home study renewal. Nearly made me deaf...

I can't even tell you if we have adoption updates. It's still such a weird process. Movement, then no movement. Nothing, then fast forward, then stall out. Hurry up and wait.

I've been day dreaming a lot about the beach. That is probably going to need to happen ASAP.  Unless our baby come to us first, then beach next year. Please universe, please! Yep, I am down to begging the powers that be. Just let this work out.

I know come Thursday, I need a little pick me up to get through the last couple days of work. For this reason, I present to you:

Death Metal Mary Poppins. Enjoy.

Donate Life Month: How Organ Donation Is Helping To Make Me A Mom!

Here is a semi off topic post. But really it is also about adoption in a way.

You see, April is Donate Life month and I am a two time kidney transplant recipient.Thanks to two living donors, my mom in 1999- when I was only 19, and my brother in 2010, I will get to be a mom through open adoption some day. In fact, I have three friends who are transplant recipients AND adoptive moms! Talk about motivation! I guess this is kind of a "me" centric post, but for a good reason. To put a face to transplantation. To show what kind of life you can give someone by being an organ donor. Being a living donor, or by registering to be an organ donor after your time is up, saves lives.

Thanks to two living donors, I get to live a healthy and quite normal life. Without them, I would be sick at best. It would be really difficult to pursue adoption and be a mom. Could it be done? Of course, but without having my health it would be more of a struggle. Without them, John and I would not be where we are today.

My mom, me, my brother Noah at the 2014 NKF Kidney Walk

Our first walk ever as Team Walking Beans in 2008!

I love organ donation and all things transplant. I love donors and their families, recipients, people waiting for transplants, and the people willing to be educated about transplantation and being an organ donor. And.... I  really love stats! Here are some stats, taken from donatelife.net:

Currently, nearly 124,000 men, women and children are awaiting organ transplants in the United States. For specific numbers visit unos.org

• Approximately 71,219 Multicultural Patients*
• Approximately 1,911 Pediatric Patients*
• 28,953 Organ Transplants Performed in 2013
• 14,257 Organ Donors in 2013
• More than 47,000 corneas were transplanted in 2013
• More than 1 million tissue transplants are done each year and the surgical need for tissue has been steadily rising.
*as of January 2015

Because of organ donation, I have a chance to be the best version of myself. To show that transplant doesn't stop you from being a regular human being, but it does motivate you to be an exceptional human being. To show that you can accomplish just as much as anyone, if not more, after transplant. That giving up is never an option. Because you can go on to finish college, have a career, ADOPT A BABY and live an excellent, fulfilling life.

You can:

Graduate from school

Run races!

Look at old pictures of you and your donor and think "wow, that kid grew up to do something wonderful!" (nom nom nom ...hand!)

Get married!

Do your part to help other transplant recipients and raise awareness! (My dad!)

Show off your awesome scars! (If you can't tell, that is my lower left and middle abdomen and hip bone).

Fall completely in love with being an aunt!

And dream every day and every night of when you get to put your own little one down to sleep in this nursery.

I am thankful. I am overwhelmingly happy that I get to be a mom soon, because I am healthy. Thanks to organ donation, my dreams will come true and goals will always be met. 

This year's NKF Kidney Walk is on May 30th. It takes a very small amount of your morning to come out and walk with us. Join our team, Team Walking Beans here: My personal walk page! All funds raised go to the National Kidney Foundation. Their programs educate the community and support patients with kidney disease.

What I am saying here is, you can make a difference by signing up to be an organ donor. You can change lives and even save lives. For more about how I feel about kidney transplant and our adoption read You have a what? Whoa.