Optimism

Being optimistic is not always something that comes naturally to me.  It is something I have had to work hard for at times.  That being said, I have had an overwhelming sense of optimism lately.  Here are some thoughts on life!

Obviously, the adoption is first and foremost on my mind.  I feel certain that someone will come across our profile or this blog or find us by word of mouth and think we are the right match to raise her child.  Our willingness to participate in an open adoption is first for the child, then for the birth mother and lastly for us- though it is very important for us as well.  After reading a lot about how psychologically, open adoption is best for everyone in the adoption triad, I can't imagine doing it any other way.  At first it was hard to picture having another woman in my child's life.  After getting a greater understanding of the roles in open adoption, I see the benefits to all parties involved.

The open adoption agreement could be anything from pictures every few months to visits throughout the year.  If we adopt in the state of Georgia, the open adoption agreement is now legally binding. Any plan we make, we have to be willing to stick to.  This is why matching with the right person is so important.  Our agency (IAC) says that it is amazing how adopting couples and birth mothers find each other, like it was always meant to be.  I don't know if they are just trying to keep the morale of the hopeful adoptive parents up or what, but I do think it will probably be a lot like when you find your husband/wife/partner/best friend etc.  You just know.

On that note, I love having that feeling of certainty and perfection about John, our marriage, our life together.  We went to Asheville, NC earlier this week for one night to see a musician (Frank Turner of course!).  I started the trip coffee-less and grumpy.  I may have been a terror to have in the car for the 30 minutes I didn't have any caffeine.  After a night away, just John, myself and a ton of delicious Asheville treats, I couldn't imagine being grumpy towards him again.  It is great to just reconnect every once in a while.  He is so calm and patient, so loving, so understanding and he laughs at me when I get "hangry" (that is hungry-angry for those who are not down with the lingo!).  Who wouldn't love someone who takes their wife's hangry moments like a champ!?  That is my love.  Sorry ladies, I am keeping him forever.  Sorry John, if I just embarrassed you.

Tomorrow my dad and I are doing another 5k.  That is our thing now and I love that we get to do these together.  I will pretend that it is no big deal that my 60-something year old dad can beat my time.  I am going to try to run as much as I can, but my doctor told me that walking is better for my joints, because I have special joints.  That doesn't really deter me from wanting to prove that I can run though.  I'll play it by ear.

Next week is Thanksgiving and I still have not cemented any Turkey Day plans.  Thinking of just making a bunch of food and having a "drop by when you can" sort of day.  Assuming people don't mind reheating food if they wait all day to stop in.  I think when our family grows, the holiday traditions will pick back up.  It is hard when we have two sides to our family and my brother and sister-in-law have two sides to theirs.  There is only so much time in a day.  Once the baby is here, we can have those huge holiday celebrations where we invite everyone and eat until we can't hold our eyes open.

Man, I am even feeling a little optimistic about work right now.  Cubical dwellers unite! I haven't even finished my morning coffee yet, perhaps today will be a good day.

Feeling good  about life and our future!  Feeling like I might even finish the nursery soon!  It is about 80% complete.  Stay tuned for sneak peeks.

The Holidays Are Upon Us

Please tell me that I didn't just type that!  It cannot already be mid-November.

Holidays in the Farrar household are different now that we are trying to become a family of (at least) three.  In the past it was all about getting to the homes of both sides of our family, eating as much as we could stuff in, and then going back home to sleep off the food coma.  Now the holidays feel a little bit empty and less special.  This opinion represents my view only (Sarah), but I am pretty sure John feels at least similar.  Our nephew is basically all that keeps things exciting around the holidays.  He is almost two and a serious motivation in our quest to become parents.   

It isn't that I don't enjoy the holidays just because we aren't parents.  It is more of a sense of something missing.  Of course we have amazing and supportive people on both sides of our family, who we always look forward to seeing on Thanksgiving and Christmas, so I really can't complain.  I like to think this isn't a complaint post, it is just a post about working out my feelings on getting through yet another holiday season without someone considering us his or her parents. 

Oh, holidays!  May you fill our lives with glorious calorie ridden food, naps, family, and even a little televised football for John.  I can only hope you will also bring the third member of our family along with you.

The Frank Turner show was amazing by the way.  I am a changed woman!  I sang my face off and left exhausted yet exhilarated.  Guess what?  We are doing it all over again tomorrow night!  Yes, we bought tickets to the next closest show.  John is such a good husband, indulging my music obsession like that.  Cheers to John for being awesome!

John here.

 I used to think that age 35 was ancient. I remember my parents being 35, for crying out loud. But here I am.

It's almost Thanksgiving, and I don't need to think about what I'm thankful for. Sarah's kidney is doing great, so much so that I have to remind myself not to take it for granted. There was a time in our lives when becoming a family didn't seem possible. I'll never forget the look on Sarah's face when, after trying to get pregnant for over a year and facing infertility treatment or surgery, I blurted out "Why don't we just start the adoption process and see what happens?" That was 8 months ago, and now we're live and our letters are being sent out. I would love to be able to watch and see what a birthmother thinks of our letter. I hope that who we are comes through and they can see how excited we are.

The hardest part of waiting (all 6 weeks so far, ha) for me has been pacing myself and tempering my expectations. After going through all the paperwork and red tape, you're ready for the next part - the baby - to come. All of the day to day routines and little moments have extra weight now, thinking about what it will mean when we are chosen.

That's it for now. I'm going to figure out how to post mp3s on here, so that's something to look forward to.

Who Am I? By Sarah

I am a girl, wait... woman (forget my age sometimes) who has climbed my way through life, making obstacles that seemed to be mountains into tiny little anthills.  I am a wife, a daughter, sister, aunt, student, a wannabe ukulele and guitar player, and hopeful adoptive mom.  Also a fan of the Oxford comma, as demonstrated in the previous sentence.  If you get it, you get it, if not- that is on you.

I'm the type of person who doesn't let a little something like a kidney transplant get in the way of life.  I graduated from UGA in 2003 and am getting my MED in Media with a concentration in Instructional Technology.  The program is online, which was never my dream, but it is progress.  That may have to go on hold once we have a baby, but until then, I am working my hardest at making grades I can be proud of.

My friends and family are really important to me.  I don't know who I would be without them.  I honestly can't believe the outpouring of support we have experienced from friends - old and new.  The process of adopting is very stressful and it helps to have people rooting for us or just making themselves available when things get hard and I need to vent a little (or a lot).  So, thanks for everyone's patience when I think too much, go into panic mode, and then slowly return to my rational self. 
 
It is hard to put why I want to be a mother in words.  It is something you can't describe, it is a feeling.  It is an urge to take care of and love someone.  It is an emptiness that nothing else seems to fill.  I know that John and I are pretty cool people and would raise a pretty awesome kid.  I want to be real on the blog, because it is for John and I really.  We aren't trying to pretend we are people we are not.  I have read so many adoption blogs where people detail their lives, but in a way that doesn't seem genuine.  John and I are really genuine people, we allow for the good, the bad and the ugly.

I have no idea if I will sleep tonight, because tomorrow I am finally seeing my favorite singer live.  Anyone who knows me knows that my love for Frank Turner's music is an obsession.  It is an embarrassing, freakish obsession.  Actually no, I am not ashamed, I fully support shameless obsessions with your favorite bands.  I didn't even know there was a genre of music called folk punk until I heard him.  I am totally sold!  Tomorrow night you can find me nerdin' out the show fulfilling a dream of seeing him play.  Then I get to see him again on the 18th in Asheville, NC.  Best.Month.Ever.

I am trying to get John to write a bit about himself.  Hopefully that will happen in the near future.  Goodnight everyone (if there is an "everyone" reading this).

   

And So It Begins

St. Augustine Beach -June 2013

We are Sarah and John Farrar from Smyrna, Georgia.  I, Sarah, wanted to start this blog to document our road to creating our family through adoption.  I hope to one day be able to look back at everything and see what an amazing journey we have experienced. 

John and I met while attending the University of Georgia in 2001.  We both worked at a local movie theater and were introduced by mutual friends.  We knew almost instantly that we never wanted to be apart.  I know that sounds pretty cheesy, but when you know, you just know.  I told John very early on that I would not be able to have children the "old fashioned way".  You see, I am a kidney transplant recipient and that really complicates my ability to carry a baby.  He still wanted to be with me, even declaring that he would one day marry me, only a month into our relationship.  For once, I wasn't scared off by a boy coming on strong!  

Six years after we started dating, we were married in a small ceremony in Marietta, Georgia.  We only invited our favorite people in order to retain the intimate feel we felt best suited us.  Three years after our wedding, I needed a second kidney transplant.  In 2010, my awesome brother ponied up one of his kidneys and I have been great ever since! Unfortunately, due to the location of the new kidney, the surgery completely destroyed my left fallopian tube, which in return has caused fluid that is toxic to embryos to leak into my uterus.  Well, call me infertile and let's move on with this adoption!  It was always plan A anyway!  

We have been active with the Independent Adoption Center since September 23, 2013.  We are pursuing an open adoption, which means that we would like to have an ongoing relationship with the birth mother and hopefully even the entire extended birth family if possible.  With open adoption, the birth mother chooses us.  There is no official list that you move up on.  It is all finding that match that works perfectly for us and the birth mother.  We can't wait to be matched and begin our life with our child and all of the new people it will bring.  

Our adoption profile can be found on iheartadoption.org adoptionhelp.org or just click on the link below.  http://www.iheartadoption.org/users/sarahandjohnadopt

Next up: Get to know John and I as individuals!