The Bouncy Ball Theory

 I’ve been giving a lot of thought to human interaction lately. The simple contact we make with other people, either in passing or long term. How I met most of my friends through school or jobs, or in adoption support group. How much impact they have on my life. But also, how much impact a few seconds with another human can change your life.

I know people who make me constantly strive to be the best version of myself. I've met people in passing who have blown my mind and changed the way I feel about or how I do something.

When I was a kid- maybe beginning around age 11- I had this idea about how people and their interactions are like letting a ton on bouncy balls (you know, the ones from the grocery store coin machines) loose with great force in a giant room- except the room is earth or universe sized and the balls are billions of souls. The balls are like people bouncing off one another, sometimes lightly, sometimes hard enough to send a ball across the room, bouncing into another ball. Sometimes that same ball bounces again and again and again indefinitely off of many other balls. Sometimes the bouncy balls hit each other and come to rest together in their own little place. 

I’m wondering when we will "bounce" into our future baby’s first mom. Wondering if it is as random as it all seems or are our bouncy balls on some sort of predetermined path. It looks like chaos, like it’s all up to chance. I think as humans we always look for a reason for things that happen, especially the less favorable things like dead silence in an adoption wait, while others around you adopt. In a process that seems to have no rhyme or reason, I search. 

I’m so guilty of just saying “everything that happens is meant to be”. It’s something I’ve had to believe to make sense of a life with challenge after challenge. Maybe everything does happen for a reason or maybe it’s all random. Perhaps it really is all arbitrary events that lead souls together. 

At this very moment, events, decisions, actions are taking place that will lead a woman to us - who will choose us to raise her child. Events, decisions and actions that took and are taking place alongside each event, decision, and action that John and I have made and are still making. We are all spinning through this life, in a collision course with each other. 

What completely seemingly random or absolutely meant to be life events will lead us to our baby? How absolutely fascinating a thought!

From A Future Aunt - Guest Post

John and Katie as children

This is a guest post from Katie, John's sister and my wonderful sister-in-law. Katie is going to be one awesome aunt!

I'm Katie. John’s little sister. He and I grew up in the town where I still live. I'm a kindergarten teacher and I also babysit. I love kids and I know John does too! Our next-door neighbor when we were in high school was the cutest 3 year-old little boy. He loved John and was sad when John went to “big school” aka college. He was always asking when John was coming back from “big school.”

John met Sarah in college. She's probably the best thing that ever happened to him! They are a great couple and I wish we lived closer, so that we could spend more time together. They have three awesome cats named Spike, Moe, and Waffles! John and I had lots of cats growing up. Their cats are like family (as is my cat, Houdini). :)

I've known that they've been wanting a family for a very long time. We've talked about it many times. I noticed a big change in them when their nephew was born to Sarah’s brother and his wife. The way they interact with him makes me smile! I love hearing stories about him and the fun that they have together. I love getting pictures of him and seeing him at Christmas and the Kidney Walk! It warms my heart to see him interact with John. They are big buddies. Sarah tells me hilarious stories about what fun things their nephew does. I know John and Sarah will make awesome parents!! Their strength through this process amazes me. I can't wait for them to complete their family!

I can't wait for  John and Sarah to be able to experience all of these things with their own child. Not to mention that I can't wait to be an Aunt! I will be very involved in their child's life. I can't wait to go shopping for all of the fun Aunt stuff! I've already found these great onesies on Pinterest. 

From A Mother Through Open Adoption - Guest Post

This is a guest post written by Lisa, a mother through open adoption and the photographer extraordinaire behind her blog The Thompson Baby . Lisa and I connected through an online support group for families who are adopting or have already adopted through our agency, The Independent Adoption Center. 

Sarah is not someone I know in real life...but that hasn't stopped us from growing supportive of each other and creating a friendship with adoption and dorky emoticon sharing at its core.

One thing that strikes me about Sarah and her destiny to become a mother through open adoption is her commitment to be open to situations that come along until they play out, and her deep care and concern for women looking to make a plan for their child.

 I am also impressed by how much in such a short time she has opened up to get the word out to friends and family about their desire to adopt. This at times has put her out of her comfort zone and challenged her personally but I feel this has created steps to be ready for "THE" contact. 

Navigating an open adoption relationship and parenting, from personal experience, is very rewarding, but can at times help us get outside of ourselves more, reach out for help from those we trust, and help us find ways to help people understand why we do what we do. Sarah may keep it close, but her heart and mind are all in on this and creating a relationship with a woman searching for the right home for her child. 

Sarah and John have taken steps to make their lives easier once the right situation presents itself, as John just started managing at a store just minutes from their home. They love to spend time with and talk about their handsome nephew. This child will learn from his mama a passion for music, attention to health and a genuine kind spirit with plenty of raw humor on the side. 

I am hoping that Sarah, John and the woman expecting and needing to make a plan will soon find each other. It is an amazing thought to think of them looking for each other, maybe even right this moment.