Bring it, 2015.

A new year, new hope, new perspective.

I mean it this time. Things happened recently that have us refocused and excited for 2015. Best thing first, we had an excellent vacation in Chattanooga, TN. We were sick the entire time, but learned so much about ourselves... or were reminded of so much. We were reminded of how much fun we can have just the two of us. There wasn't talk of how much more fun the aquarium would be with our kid or how much fun other families seemed to be having with their kids. It was just us having fun.

We are saying adios to a not so wonderful 2014 and eagerly welcoming a new start in 2015. The year we will hopefully become parents! This past year has been full of hardships outside of adoption. Health scares, car accidents, family stuff. We are happily moving on and expecting the best in the next 12 months. Every day that passes is no longer a day added to our long wait, but a day closer to our baby coming home.

We went to my (Sarah) parent's house early Christmas morning on our way out of town to see family. I made two quiches and my parents had some other goodies to eat. My brother and his family stopped by and we played with Henry, our nephew and opened presents. John's mom and sister did not feel up to meeting up this Christmas, as they have some stuff going on this year, so we stopped off at the movie theater and watched the last installment of the Hobbit movies. It was fantastic and gave John a chance to relax. He was running a fever, so relaxation was needed! After the movie, he slept in the car and I drove to Chattanooga, jamming out to my main squeeze Frank Turner.

The rest of the story I will leave up to the pictures to tell. (Pretend these pictures are lining up nicer. Thanks blogger!?)

Christmas morning 2014 with our nephew, Henry

Tennessee Aquarium. John was getting better and I was getting sicker! .

Ahhhhhhhh!

Jelly fish!

This was way more impressive in real life!

Smooch!

Sarah at the aquarium!

The pedestrian bridge in Chattanooga. We did a ton of walking

The art museum. Cool building!

It was insanely foggy December 26th. View from our room.

The view of the river from the aquarium.

Seriously, I can't tell you all how much my perspective on the new year has changed. I was dreading that thought of not having adopted in 2014, but I realize now that it just wasn't our year. What is meant to happen will happen. Hope is renewed!

Happy New Year everyone. Thanks as always for reading. I am always shocked at how many people are keeping up with our story. Our one wish for the new year is for people to keep spreading the word that we are waiting to adopt. Keep sharing this blog and our profile, facebook page, instagram etc. and we will keep on hoping!

A Happy New Year song!

It is Christmas Eve Eve. Oh My.

Just a little pre-Christmas day update. It will be short and sweet since I am sure we will have a nice lengthy, picture filled update when we return from Chattanooga.

I have kept most of the things I feared about us not having adopted by Christmas at bay. I am feeling thankful that I have John and my family and friends. We will be visiting family Christmas morning and then heading on a short vacation. Don't worry, the house will be closely watched by a street full of vigilant neighbors and our cat sitters, so I feel ok talking about us being gone. We have "those" neighbors, where you hear rumors about yourselves that are based solely from people staring out their windows all day.

I am off of work and am mostly just straightening up the house and catching up on my beloved Netflix. Our nephew gave me a case of the head cold cooties (but he told me he loved me while doing so and that makes it all totally worth it!) Every age he has been, I say is my favorite, but him being 3 has been so fun. Our conversations about boogers and monsters make me laugh for days.

This is a busy week for John, since he is a manager at a grocery store. We all know how people like to eat during the holidays! He will be off of work from Thursday until New Year's Eve, so we are planning some fun stuff later this week.

We had a little adoption related trauma last week. Long story and maybe only traumatic to me, as it seems that I am fairly easily thrown by every little "close call" or "false alarm" and um, unfortunately "clerical error". We will make it through this, just like every other day of waiting for our baby to find us.

For now, Happy Holidays from us and our mini Christmas tree!

Postive Adoption Language

This post is written in response to the Adoption Love Link Up  that I joined a couple of months ago.  The topic for December is:
 What are your views on appropriate adoption language? (examples: Birth mom vs. expectant mom, was adopted vs. is adopted, etc.) Have you had any personal experiences with inappropriate adoption language? How, if at all, did you help educate those involved?

How often do you hear people say "she gave up her baby" or hear a pregnant woman being called a "birth mom"? These are examples of incorrect adoption terminology. Some people are okay with these terms, but technically neither are correct.

Gave up or giving up has negative connotations. Like how I gave up on grad school or gave up before the end of a race, because it was too hard. When a woman decides to look into adoption for her unborn (or sometimes already born) baby, she is looking out for the best interests of the baby, not giving up on the baby. The correct terminology is that she is "placing" her baby for adoption. You can say she is finding her baby parents, or finding parents for her baby or finding a family for her baby.

I will admit, I grew up hearing the phrase "giving up for adoption". It is a hard habit to break, so if you say it to me, I won't get mad, I will simply correct you in a way that is educational.

On that note, a birth mother is someone who has already placed her baby for adoption. Before that, she is an expectant mother, just like any other pregnant woman. Some women may think of themselves as birth mothers before they place, but that is their decision, not ours. We can't assume that she will definitely place her baby, as she has every right to parent after baby is born.

When I write about "birth mothers" on this blog, sometimes I over simplify it for the general reader. I may say our future child's birth mother/potential birth mother or sometimes I use the term "first mother". Ultimately, these terms are all ok, but I would defer to our child's birth mom (once we have a child of course) as to what she would prefer. She may prefer for me to refer to her on the blog by name or even prefer that I do not mention her at all on the blog, which is fine as well. That is the beauty of open adoption, we can communicate and work out these terms rather than just making assumptions.

Positive adoption language applies to the adoptive parents as well. I use the term adoptive parents on this blog to make it simple for readers. When my child and I are at a play group, you wouldn't refer to me as his/her adoptive mom would you? No, I would be his/her mom or mommy or mama. Plain and simple. John would be dad or daddy or whatever term we end up using. I don't mind being called a future adoptive mom, it is a description that fits the situation. We are indeed future adoptive parents. But referring to us as (insert child's name)'s adoptive parents is not going to cut it once we are parents.

Likewise, if I hear anyone referring to our child as the "adopted child", some heads will roll. Sure, our kid will always know that he/she is adopted, but the correct way to say it is Sarah and John's child. There is no need to place "adopted" before describing our kid. Asking us if we will ever have our "own child" will get you an eye roll and a lecture from me personally. Actually, anyone saying anything that makes our child feel like he or she isn't a true part of our family will promptly get an ear full and repeat offenders just wont be in our lives. Our kiddo comes first. Always.

There is your lesson in positive adoption language. I am sure I have left some things out, so visit this link for more examples!

Those Happy Little Moments

There are a lot of really happy and exciting moments in the adoption wait. Last night as I was trying to sleep, i realized that I never really share that sort of thing on the blog.

These are my favorite "adoption wait" moments:

When you find that perfect onesie by chance and add it to your stash of perfect onesies.

When you have flashes of what it will be like meeting your baby for the first time.

When your email is loading and you imagine an email from an expectant mother will pop up saying "let's get to know each other better!"

When a strange number shows up on your phone and for a split second you imagine it being THE CALL

Tiny sock collecting... TINY SOCKS!

Sitting around talking about baby names. Laughing at each other over most of them and then that hmmm moment... put it on the list! 

When you mention it to near perfect strangers and they have an adoption story. Thank you Starbucks drive thru lady... you have no idea how much that made me smile.

Imagining playing Santa Claus and sneaking gifts under the tree late at night.

Imagining that new Christmas stocking hanging on the mantle. Then imagining filling it with tiny toys, chocolate reindeer and the requisite socks and undies.

Designing the nursery. Making it soothing and calm and absolutely perfect.

A work in progress of course!

Having a mini movie play in your head about how you will announce to friends and family that baby is here! You know, just in case they don't hear you beaming from the hospital.

When your friends ask how it is all going and you can say "sure it is hard, but we are making it."

When you are hanging out with your friends and they start giving your recommendations on baby stuff. It makes it SO REAL.

Developing a stash of baby supplies! WE ARE SO READY.

Having our almost 3 year old nephew finally decide he wants us to have a baby more than a horse. True story.

The amazing friendships you make with other people in the adoption community. Trying not to scream YOU GET ME! YOU REALLY REALLY GET ME!

Picturing your spouse snuggling a baby, calming a screaming baby or even getting pooped on. Dreamy! Amiright?!

Dreaming of finally putting Yoda hat on baby instead of Waffles the cat.

Good things are coming everyone. We may not know a specific day or even month or year, but good things are coming. Our adoption agency's holiday party is on Tuesday, so we are really looking forward to hanging out with our adoption friends and possibly making some more.

This weekend our nephew Henry turns 3. Three years of watching him grow and develop his amazing little personality. He has perfect comedic timing and endless energy. He and I once had a 20  minute conversation about how peanuts are made into peanut butter. It ended with him saying "and peanuts make cookies crunchy". Words to live by, little man. We love this kid more than we can say in words.

Newborn Henry:                                                                                  Almost 3!

Happy Birthday Henry Huggybear!