This post is about the long and the short of it all. If you have read my posts in the past, you know this will probably be more the long of it though... yap yap yap.
The short:
John and I are just two people who love each other, who also want nothing more than to have children. I am the one who cannot conceive and carry a child. John is the one who stands by me, because he loves me more than he wants to have a biological child. We are people who do not need that biological connection to love a child.We are just people who want to love a child.
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| Just us. Being us. |
The long:
We are not perfect people, but we are good people. We have shortcomings and we have things we excel at. We are very open minded and easily adaptable to new situations. We have already been through a lot together (over 13 years since we first started dating!). I can't think of much we haven't already conquered or can't overcome in the future. We are happy being to the two of us, but ultimately that isn't what we want.
One thing I keep hearing come up is how peachy, shiny, happy our adoption profile makes everything look. It outlines the best of us, without stating the flaws in our lives. Let's first talk about how much writing and rewriting we had to do with that profile. When it comes down to it, the content was up to us, BUT with some very strong suggestions from the adoption professionals. You have to think of it like this... You wouldn't go on a first date and lay out all of your negatives first thing and this is in the same ball game as that idea. So, sure we want our first impression to be a nice one. We tried to be real, while pointing out some of the positive things about our community, home, and ourselves. Not only that, many aspects of our lives are actually quite shiny. We have a roof over our heads, we have each other, we have jobs and food to eat... that is pretty darn happy and shiny.
You want to know our flaws? Ok!
Well, let's see. I am a person who likes instant gratification. When I want something, I want it right then and get grumpy if I don't get it. This is why we end up eating out too much. I have a tendency to get hangry (hungry-angry) when I wait too long to eat and lose my ability to plan a meal and cook. I shop my emotions away. I can do some serious damage at Target if I'm having a rough day. I eat my emotions too. I celebrate with food and grieve with food. I mean, who doesn't? Food is uh, wonderful. Nothing cheers me up like a night out with the ladies to get Mexican food or an iced coffee.
A huge flaw I have is that I question myself when I shouldn't. I think that is partially due to being so public with our lives now that we are adopting. Do I post this or that? Do I look too tired/too shabby, too young/too old in this or that photo? Is our house too messy in these pictures? Or does it show that we are normal people who have clutter? Do I post about cats too much? (The answer to that is probably yes, especially if you follow us on instagram!).
I say things that are probably too young for me or too "hip" for me (like how I squeezed in hip to emphasize how uncool I probably am? Is self deprecating humor still a go?) . I say things like totes instead of totally, froyo instead of frozen yogurt, fav for favorite etc. It all starts mockingly and then suddenly, it is a part of your everyday lingo. It's a slippery slope to being jelly instead of jealous or cray cray instead of crazy. No! I wont do it! Leavin' it for the people born well after me! For reals.
Everyone has flaws though, even my better half John. John is a remote control hog- will literally take it out of your hand and change the channel. He likes to control minor things like dessert before dinner (not ok with him, but I say we are adults - if we want dessert before dinner, so be it!). John is too stoic sometimes. It makes him hard to read and can make you feel like you might be alone in one battle or another. I learned you just have to ask and he will let you know what he is feeling, but you can't sit by and assume he will offer it up. John is a bit of a music snob. I think he will admit to this. John will remember a bunch of random music facts and sports history, but wont remember the milk from the grocery store.Luckily, he works at a grocery store, so there is always tomorrow!
The fact remains that people are made up of positives and negatives. We all learn to live with and even love the things that make us unique, even if some of it can get annoying. It is part of having compromise in life and part of loving someone entirely. It is part of what makes a family work.
It is 2015 and the time is now to get this show on the road. Some days are met with a lot of patience and understanding that the world has a way of playing things out the way they are meant to be. Other days are met with aggravation and that feeling of just being over the limbo that has been the last few years of our lives. I am learning a new level of patience and understanding about how life actually plays out. How you generally don't get what you want, when you want it. I don't have to like it, but I have to accept it.
So now you know. Other than just being too honest on this blog sometimes, we have flaws. Plenty. But we will be really incredible parents. I think that is what matters in the long run.
Follow us on Instagram, as we are doing a #hopingtoadopt60days challenge. It is a "get to know us" thing where we have a photo assignment daily that will tell a little about our lives.
We are ever flippin' hopeful that our baby will find us this year. That's right, flippin' hopeful.
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