Hopes. Not Expectations.

It is adoption love link up time again! This month's suggested topic is actually something I have been trying to avoid so far this year. Basically, it is “What role will adoption play for us in this coming year?”

You see, last year I let adoption take over my life. I let it rule my every thought, decision, emotion and it even invaded every single dream I remembered having (minus that recurring one where the brakes don't work in my car, so I have to stop Flintstones style- which if you analyzed it enough, could be adoption related anyway). Even though adoption is absolutely the number one thing we want right now, it is too emotional and sometimes too devastating to allow it to run our lives. Of course it is exciting, because adoption will lead us to the creation of our family, but it is also just incredibly hard. 

What role are we expecting it to play in 2015? Maybe I need to leave out the word “expecting” and replace it with “hoping”. We are hoping that 2015 is the year our baby makes his or her way to our family. Plain and simple. 

The little things we are hoping for this year include: To enjoy life just the two us as long as we need to. To not dwell on the fact that this adoption wait feels like it is moving in slow motion. To not have dishonest people contact us and lead us on- or at least be able to bounce back faster if they do. To keep busy, so we barely notice that we are still waiting and waiting and waiting. To travel, to experience aspects of life previously left unexplored, to feel the sun, rain and wind... really feel it.

This year, I would like to expand the reach of our adoption blog. I have more people reading on a regular basis than I ever thought I would. I started it to have a place to keep record of our wait and the feelings that come along with it. I also wanted a place we could show who we really are, rather than having a four page profile that barely even touched the surface of our lives. I would like to keep contributing to blog rings and link ups that speak on adoption. I would like to do more guest blog posts like I did earlier this year with America Adopts- my post. I would like for my friends, family, coworkers, and strangers alike to keep sharing the blog. The more the word gets out, the more likely our family is to grow this year. I would also like to think that maybe some of our experiences could help a family considering adoption or a woman considering placing her baby. 

This year, I hope to find more resources for understanding the birth parent perspective, as well as the adoptee perspective. I am a planner and want to be prepared for the emotions our child and his or her birth parents could be feeling in the future. I don’t want to be someone who goes into this thinking love conquers all, because that is fantasy. There will be so many conflicting emotions for everyone involved over the years and we can’t turn a blind eye to that.