What's The Frequency Sarah?

Love from Philadelphia!

 Whew, ok, I am back. A week or so of guest posts, a week of vacation, and a week of crazy, busy days at work made it really hard to update the blog!

We don't quite have a vacation post ready yet, but it's coming. I'll add a few sneak peak photos in this post. For now let's talk about adjustment. In the adoption wait, there are many things you have to adjust to. One is being in the spotlight. Now, I am not adverse to getting attention, but this is a different kind of attention. It is putting it all out there for strangers type of attention. Okay, I may never adjust fully to that sort of change, but I can cope with it.

Another big change to adjust to, and the main one I want to address is being left behind. When all of your adoption friends start adopting and moving on from support group or dinners out, you can start feeling a left out, left behind, self conscious of why it isn't you. This is what has happened to us over the last few months. All of the families we started with or met early on in the process have adopted or are at least matched! Great for them right? Agreed. For us? Eh...here come the insecurities... why, when, how, what the heck?

It's been hard on the self esteem honestly. I know logically that there is nothing wrong with us. I know logically that we aren't doing anything wrong. It sure is too bad that logic doesn't come through in this process more! Logic my friend, please stick around! Emotion rules this adoption roost. Emotion tells me to begin to isolate ourselves from newer waiting adoptive families. Emotion tells me it will hurt way too bad if they adopt before us, after not waiting long. Emotion tells me to hide away from all that has the slightest potential to be hurtful.

John and I are trying to adjust to being left behind. I had a week of self doubt and panic, but now I'm feeling like I should treat it as a good sign. You may ask "How is being left behind a good sign?". Well, perhaps, since all of these families had been waiting approximately the same amount of time as us, we will soon join them. Maybe we are in a sweet spot in the wait. Perhaps it's good mojo! Good adoption mojo is exactly what we need!

In other news, America Adopts published another post that I wrote! I just love the people over at America Adopts. So friendly, so informative. Here is a link to the post I wrote about living in the present, rather than the future: Enjoy! 

In other, other news, I keep hearing how pretty much everyone is adopting through word of mouth, personal networking, sharing, sharing, and sharing. Can I ask that people keep spreading that word for us? You just never know if someone you know might be pregnant and wanting to find a family just like us to parent her child. We are open to just about any situation, but our big thing is we want an open adoption. This can mean very open, like getting together and hanging out or phone calls or just emails and texts or whatever, really, we are that open. Super duper open.

Sharing is caring!

Another update is that I think we have to rethink the video concept as only one person has sent us their contribution. I think it may be a harder assignment than we anticipated. I tried recording myself even and it was hard! Fumbling, losing my ability to locate words in my brain! I so get it. We are thinking of getting together with the people who offered to help and doing it interview style. Maybe cutting down on how many contributions there are, because frankly, I need another couple terms in grad school to get this video editing up above snail speed. Oh yeah, I start grad school again on August 24th! Wish me luck! We will be in touch with those who offered to help with the video about the new plan. 

Thanks to all of you who read the blog and support us in other ways. It's been a tough road lately, but I have been assured that it will all fall into place one day. I feel like the second we hold baby boo, so much of this stress and hurt will start to fade.

Until next time.