Well, home study renewal time is in full swing. I really feared that this would put us into yet another emotional tail spin, but honestly, I am a little relieved to have something that has definite deadlines. In a process that is so open ended, it is a little reassuring to have steps to follow.
In the state of Georgia, waiting adoptive families have to redo the every single clearance and background check that precedes the actual home visit every single year. I have heard from families waiting in other states who say that only certain things have to be renewed yearly. You can call me jealous on that one! I spent yesterday bouncing all over trying to get some of it taken care of before last year's documents expire. It really is quite exhausting.
In other news, our new adoption pass along cards arrived! We have already mailed out over 200 to friends and family who are willing to help spread the word that we are still waiting to adopt through open adoption. We are so thankful for friends and even strangers (so awesome!) who are willing to help us get the word out. If you want to help too, just send me a message or comment and I can get some out to you too! They are business card sized and printed front and back. The front picture is actually the inside of our crib! This is what they look like:
People have asked me for ideas of who to give the pass along cards to or where to leave them. I try to be tactful and not leave them anywhere offensive. I don't want to seem like we are preying on anyone. We honestly want to be the answer for someone who already is in need of a family for her baby. We would never want to coerce someone or target anyone too young to make her own decision.
With that being said I have left them in coffee shops, restaurants, and bars. I have given them to strangers when random conversation came up about us waiting to adopt- in line at Starbucks, the post office, the grocery store- I will talk to just about anyone about our adoption wait these days. My coworkers carry them in their wallets in case they hear of someone wanting to place her baby. I have left cards in doctors office waiting rooms after appointments, dropped them in elevators at hospitals or hotels when I visit, and have even left a card or so with my local clothing alterations lady.
At this point, we have nothing to lose. Closing in on 19 months waiting and not many contacts from people considering placement. We know that the more we put ourselves out there, the more likely it is that people who don't agree with these methods will find us, but it is also more likely that the mother of our baby will find us as well. We have to take the punches along with the good that could come out of this.
So far, we have had one "contact" through the pass along cards. It was a woman who wanted to pray with us. We appreciate the thought, but honestly, if that phone rings about adoption, our hearts are in our throats. I'll admit that after hearing a very nervous woman asking for Sarah or John of "sarahandjohnadopt" that ended up with a request to pray, I cried my eyes out after we hung up. Minutes later we met family for lunch and had to pretend we weren't feeling defeated. The adrenaline from thinking we finally had a contact to the crash of - oh that is sooo not the case- was actually really difficult. I can't even say what her intentions were, they seemed good at first, but there was talk of us flying out to some prayer group, which screamed scam to me.
Dear readers, that stuff kinda hurts, even if it's not meant to. We have to believe that this will be worth it though. No matter how many calls we get with questionable motives. One day, one call could be THE CALL and the rest will fade away. So, we just continue to put ourselves out there, putting up our imaginary shields for the odd and the bad, while welcoming the good.
We still have hope.
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