Today as I was thinking about what to write about, I kept getting overwhelmed by all of the current disorganization in my life. I couldn't seem to focus on one thought when so many things felt out of control around me. In true Sarah fashion, I made a list. I am the queen of lists. Even my lists have lists.
I have a master list or approximately 100 things I would like to accomplish, both long term and short term. I have had some incarnation of that list for about a year and half now and it is ever evolving. The master list stays with me, reminding me that I have a drive to succeed and a strong urge to make something of myself. Number one on that list has been and still is, wait for it.... have a baby. I have crossed major things off of that list- lost a lot of weight, got into grad school, made my best time ever in a 5K, but that one item still sits there staring at me. I feel like it wont be too long though. I have a gut feeling and my gut has never done me wrong before.
John and I opened our adoption profile up more situations. This means we are willing to look at adoption situations where the baby might be born dependent on drugs, have a slightly higher risk for certain health conditions and have a slightly higher risk for certain mental health conditions. I couldn't imagine saying I wouldn't accept a baby who had a risk of a moderate health condition, since I am a person who has experienced one myself. How could I say no to someone like me? I am a healthy, productive member of society, who will likely live just as long as anyone else. Why turn down an opportunity to raise a child, just because it may be more challenging? If anyone can do it, it is John and I.
I feel good about our choice. This doesn't mean we will be adopting a child who will be disabled forever. We have the freedom to look at the scenario and say it isn't for us. No one ever knows what will happen to their child in the long run. A healthy baby born from perfectly normal pregnancy can end up with health problems.
Oh yes, I was talking about organization. I spent the morning organizing my desk and pending paperwork. I have a new list of things to clean and organize at home and a new short term goal list. Lists make me feel calm. I like having a plan of action! I love apps for my phone where I can set all types of goals. I have runkeeper to set work out goals, fitness pal to set goals to eat healthy, banks apps to watch as I reach my savings goals, and games to beat old scores.
The big plan this week is to finish my final exam for my class. This will be the last thing I do for my first semester of grad school. So happy it is over, but looking forward to starting next term. John and I are then going to go all out for Christmas. Hoping for a big tree, lots of baking cookies, and lights in the front yard. We want to make it a good one this year, since hopefully it will be the last one that is just the two of us. My nephew turns 2(!) on Saturday! I really can't believe it. It seems like yesterday that I was at the hospital all night waiting for him to be born. Last Saturday he spent the afternoon at our house and talked our heads off. From wiggly newborn to full, somewhat coherent, sentences. It is absolutely amazing to watch him grow and learn. He has more personality in his little finger than most people have in their entire bodies.
I am rambling at this point. Here is to another successful Thanksgiving in the past and a very exciting 2 year birthday this Saturday!
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