Once upon a time, when you were an approved waiting adoptive couple (or single), you were considered paper pregnant. This term came about because your paperwork was all approved and ready for a match that resulted in a baby. Now that times have changed and most everything is done via this crazy thing I like to call the interwebs (nerd alert!), I like to call it being electronically pregnant. Being electronically pregnant for an undetermined amount of time requires patience and plenty of distractions. I have found that the best way to distract myself from this extended state of waiting is to try and do as many of the things I would do if I was actually pregnant. Here is where I let on that I am overly confident that this will work out for us in a decent amount of time and therefore nesting doesn't depress me like it does some waiting parents.
One of the best ways I have found to "nest" is to work on the nursery little by little. Early in the fall, my mom and I painted the purple room (former owners had grand kids) a nice gender neutral light green. Nearly 3 coats of paint later, only the inside of the closet remains purple. Who paints the closet anything but white anyway?! We have received a lot of baby supplies from my brother and sister in law, since my nephew is now two and doesn't need stuff like bouncers, carriers or activity centers. My parents bought us a crib as a gift and I splurged on bedding, since we saved so much by receiving gifts and hand me downs. The room is fairly close to being done, but I always find little things to add like the owl doorknobs I posted previously.
I am trying to be crafty. I have a number of little projects that I want to do either for the nursery or just because. I am one of those people that if I don't do it well right away, I get fed up and find something I can actually do. When I was a kid, I dropped out of ballet, piano lessons, girl scouts, every club I ever joined, and as an adult, I have yet to take full advantage of a gym membership. Reflecting back on it, I probably would be a much more interesting person had I stuck with some of those things. I have two pieces of furniture I want to redo, an adoption related quote that I want to put on a canvas or blanket or something, and ultimately it would be nice to paint that purple closet! Hoping for a bit of inspiration to get moving on those things. Any volunteers to help out? I will provide pizza or burritos...mmm burritos.
It is also fun to imagine the things we will do with a third family member in tow. Now that we are actively waiting, it is easy to let your mind wander when you travel or go to local attractions. We find ourselves saying "When our kid is here... or This will be so cool when...". Just seeing the zoo through my nephew's eyes last month made me appreciate a side of it that I hadn't since I was a kid. The way he plays even makes me appreciate that my front yard can become an arena for dino ball (Dinosaur Train reference). I am looking forward to riding the kiddie rides at amusement parks and going to kid movies at the theater (though really, let's face it, I do that anyway).
My favorite part of the wait is how enthusiastic people get about it. I know in previous posts I have talked about how some people just don't even bring it up, but really those people are in the minority. Most people want to know updates (hence the blog, FB page, etc). My coworkers are always asking me "When are you going to get your baby? Will you bring the baby in to work when you finally have it?". I have friends, coworkers and family members itching to buy baby clothes and toys. I have people offering up suggestions on formula, diapers, baby wash, making my own baby food etc. I am pretty sure our baby will be spoiled by everyone. Spoiled, but hopefully not too spoiled, we shall see. This is a long awaited baby, so I can't promise there wont be too much spoiling. I always want to talk about the adoption, so I enjoy people bringing it up and acting excited about it.
I think I have said before that meeting other people in the adoption process has been such a positive aspect of this experience. I can't stress that enough. I know quite a few people now who are waiting and even know some who have had babies placed with them and are enjoying life as parents now. I am thinking of hosting a sort of coffee shop support group or get together for all of us. We have an official support group once a month at IAC, which is awesome, but I think it would be fun to have an unofficial group for people who are still waiting and who have adopted already. We can talk about adoption related stuff or ideas for raising kids or even just music/books/work etc.. We can meet for drinks without the kids or meet at the park on the days people want to bring them. I will have to take a poll and see who is up for it!
Lastly, here are a couple of thoughts on focus. Normally, every year my National Kidney Foundation walking team, The Walking Beans, does the kidney walk. We normally raise over $1000 for kidney disease awareness and related programs. I really want the Walking Beans to walk again this year, but I am struggling with finding the time to be captain of the team. It takes time to do fundraising. I am not sure that my brain can focus on another thing. I am taking two graduate level classes, keeping up with our adoption stuff and working full time. Through all of this, I am trying to keep some sort of social life, because all work and no play makes Sarah kind of nuts. For real, I get weird without some relaxation and recreation. Like ponder the meaning of life and become introverted weird. I just can't imagine a kidney walk passing by without our team walking! I feel like that would make me sad in the long run. Who wants to be team captain this year?! I can try not to micromanage you!
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